Okay so I'm officially scheduled for surgery on October 3rd! Never thought I would actually feel relieved to know that it was happening so soon but at this point I am SO ready. I've been having a lot of pain lately, something I haven't had in years--literally have a constant burning sensation in the muscles around my curves it is VERY irritating :/ With only two months to go until I'm immobile for at least six weeks, I'm trying to have all the fun I can possibly have right now! Gotta get it all out of my system so I don't go too crazy...I mean give me a break I am a college kid after all, I can't be expected to take this downtime lightly ;P
So I'm currently making a list of things I'll probably need to be comfortable after the surgery: movies, books, button front shirts, comfy pj's, front closure bras, and of course I NEED to find a way to hook my netflix up to my tv! I already have a lot of pillows so I think I'm fine there but of course I'll have my phone on speed dial to everyone who can bring me things!
I'm not sure how long I should expect to be on bedrest, so to speak. I'd like to think that I'll be ABLE to get around within just a couple weeks, although still battling the tiredness and probably some discomfort. I'm very glad it's scheduled for October though, as I should be mostly myself by Christmas and deffinitely ready to get back to school for the spring.
I'll keep you all posted on how this goes! Check back soon :D
“Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong.”
~Sarah Dessen
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Major Decision
So here's the news (finally):
I had my x-ray and appointment on Thursday and, while the results weren't shocking to me, the outcome of the day was VERY different than any other time I have ever been to my doctor. I found out that my top cervical curve stayed at 33, my thoracic went from 65 to 71, and my lumbar went from 51 to 49...all since about 18 months ago. While that is not even bad compared to my progression while I was still growing, it just reinforced the fact that these curves are just not going anywhere but out the side of my body! The weirdest thing about the day though, was that for the first time I wasn't scared of the talk of surgery. I have come to terms with my scoliosis, especially this past year, and not only seeing but FEELING that it is steadily progressing was enough to make me realize that the time has come for me to have the surgery. Wow, it's weird to even see myself writing that after all this time! For all of you who have battled with this or are currently deciding what to do, you will understand that this decision comes once you feel that it is finally the right time. I am a huge believer in signs and not gonna lie, most of them are pointing towards the surgery for the first time ever...but maybe I'm just silly like that! Seriously though, I did see a beautiful girl struttin down the street in workout pants and a sports bra with a perfect little scar down the center of her back RIGHT after I left the doctor...just sayin :P
So, tomorrow is the day that I call and schedule the surgery date! I've been through this once before, only last time I backed out because it didn't feel right. This time though, I am anxiously awaiting the phone call just so I can know when it's happening. I'm ready to get this taken care of and move on with my life. My doctor told me that the post-op appointments are a few times during the first year, then yearly for three years, at which point I will only need to go back if there was a problem--I practically jumped for joy at the thought, I can't even imagine what that day will feel like! :D
So that's the update for now. I will absolutely be posting all about the surgery as I go through it, as well as telling you all a little more about the other things I've tried incase there are any of you pre-surgery sco's just like me trying other options. Just because I'm having the surgery now doesn't mean I don't believe in those other ways or that they might not work for someone else so I'll do my best to let you know ALL about them!
"Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences, our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them."
~Judith Henderson
I had my x-ray and appointment on Thursday and, while the results weren't shocking to me, the outcome of the day was VERY different than any other time I have ever been to my doctor. I found out that my top cervical curve stayed at 33, my thoracic went from 65 to 71, and my lumbar went from 51 to 49...all since about 18 months ago. While that is not even bad compared to my progression while I was still growing, it just reinforced the fact that these curves are just not going anywhere but out the side of my body! The weirdest thing about the day though, was that for the first time I wasn't scared of the talk of surgery. I have come to terms with my scoliosis, especially this past year, and not only seeing but FEELING that it is steadily progressing was enough to make me realize that the time has come for me to have the surgery. Wow, it's weird to even see myself writing that after all this time! For all of you who have battled with this or are currently deciding what to do, you will understand that this decision comes once you feel that it is finally the right time. I am a huge believer in signs and not gonna lie, most of them are pointing towards the surgery for the first time ever...but maybe I'm just silly like that! Seriously though, I did see a beautiful girl struttin down the street in workout pants and a sports bra with a perfect little scar down the center of her back RIGHT after I left the doctor...just sayin :P
So, tomorrow is the day that I call and schedule the surgery date! I've been through this once before, only last time I backed out because it didn't feel right. This time though, I am anxiously awaiting the phone call just so I can know when it's happening. I'm ready to get this taken care of and move on with my life. My doctor told me that the post-op appointments are a few times during the first year, then yearly for three years, at which point I will only need to go back if there was a problem--I practically jumped for joy at the thought, I can't even imagine what that day will feel like! :D
So that's the update for now. I will absolutely be posting all about the surgery as I go through it, as well as telling you all a little more about the other things I've tried incase there are any of you pre-surgery sco's just like me trying other options. Just because I'm having the surgery now doesn't mean I don't believe in those other ways or that they might not work for someone else so I'll do my best to let you know ALL about them!
"Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences, our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them."
~Judith Henderson
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
The Waiting Game
Okay, so as I mentioned before, tomorrow I have my first x-ray in almost two years! Now, usually, I don't get too wound up about the appointment since I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that there's nothing I can do about what they tell me. I'm a HUGE believer in signs, especially when it comes to my back, so I typically lead with the thought that whatever is next for me, even if it's surgery, I will do it because the time is right, not because it's what I'm told to do. I have spent the past 5 years avoiding surgery against all of my doctors wishes. The time was not right for me--I was not ready to give in without trying other things. I've been living like this for a long time but this time, this time feels different. I can't remember the last time I was this anxious and scared for a check-up. I'm not sure if any of you have ever felt your back get worse, ever woken up one morning and been aware of your curves a little more than usual. Well, that is how I've been feeling a lot lately. I get up in the morning sometimes and feel as if I can't fully stand up straight, and if you know what this feels like, you know just how terrifying it can be. I try to attribute it to something, too long of a car ride, too long of a shift at work, or too much walking, but the truth is, my back has a mind of it's own, and it's finally catching up to the mind I have that thinks I'm invincible.
So, I'm going in to tomorrow's appointment with my typical optimistic attitude, but I have the thought in the back of my mind that now might be the time that I have to start confronting the idea of surgery. I don't regret waiting--I'm stronger than ever, mentally and physically, I'm done growing, and I've tried so many things that I know I will not look back and wish I had done something else. Any one else struggle with this decision? It often seems as if anyone with scoliosis just gets the surgery and never thinks twice. But then again, I'm the one that says we're all different right?? :P
Wish me luck! I'll be sure to update you guys soon!
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." ~Mary Engelbreit
So, I'm going in to tomorrow's appointment with my typical optimistic attitude, but I have the thought in the back of my mind that now might be the time that I have to start confronting the idea of surgery. I don't regret waiting--I'm stronger than ever, mentally and physically, I'm done growing, and I've tried so many things that I know I will not look back and wish I had done something else. Any one else struggle with this decision? It often seems as if anyone with scoliosis just gets the surgery and never thinks twice. But then again, I'm the one that says we're all different right?? :P
Wish me luck! I'll be sure to update you guys soon!
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." ~Mary Engelbreit
Sunday, July 29, 2012
My kind of scoliosis
Hey all,
So I was thinking maybe a little background about myself and my experiences might be a good way to start off with my page. I know for me, I tend to want to know not only if someone has scoliosis, but if they have it like me. Throughout these past eight years since I was diagnosed, I have come to learn, as I have said before, that scoliosis is not as uniform as doctors make it seem. I have on many occassions told someone what I have only to be met with the response, "oh scoliosis? yeah I had that when I was younger but I think it's gone now." Funny how they can make it sound so simple and easy in one short little sentence! I look forward to the day when I can say that, think it will ever come? lol I'll just dream about it I guess. So what i'm saying here, is that yes I have scoliosis, and no, it will not "go away" any time soon--mine is progressive, it has been getting worse and worse for years and yes I feel it and yes it sucks! So I do understand, I've been through ALOT, trust me on that one.
So down to the numbers...
As of my last x-ray, (which at this point I do every year or so) I had a 28 degree cervical (neck), 68 degree thoracic (upper spine), and 52 degree lumbar (lower spine) curves. The weirdest thing about my curves, and the one thing that none of ANY of my doctors have really been able to figure out, is whether or not I have just one major curve (my thoracic), or if I do in fact have a DOUBLE major curve (meaning that my lumbar curve is not purely a compensatory curve to keep me balance but also has a mind of its own) Lucky me, I get to be the "rare rarity" so to speak. Promise, if you follow my posts and stories you will see just how much this really is a theme with me!
The question of my double major curve has led me down many paths in order to find the right answer. I spent about six years chasing every possible treatment. I have tried:
For the past two years or so, however, I have tried my own method: living. I decided to give my body a break and, whether it was just lucky timing at the end of my growth spurt or actual success, my scoliosis has drastically slowed down in it's progression. I still do yoga as periodically as possible, which is not easy unless I'm in NYC, but other than that I just live. I maintain core strength at the gym, which I have found is the best way to keep as good of posture as possible and avoid that weird looking pelvic tilt I get.
While it is definitely more peaceful than spending all my time battling the curve degrees, I of course have to keep up with my x-rays just to be sure. I am scheduled for my first one in 18 months this Thursday so fingers crossed it goes well!
Sorry for the long post, I swear I'll get better at this lol
So I was thinking maybe a little background about myself and my experiences might be a good way to start off with my page. I know for me, I tend to want to know not only if someone has scoliosis, but if they have it like me. Throughout these past eight years since I was diagnosed, I have come to learn, as I have said before, that scoliosis is not as uniform as doctors make it seem. I have on many occassions told someone what I have only to be met with the response, "oh scoliosis? yeah I had that when I was younger but I think it's gone now." Funny how they can make it sound so simple and easy in one short little sentence! I look forward to the day when I can say that, think it will ever come? lol I'll just dream about it I guess. So what i'm saying here, is that yes I have scoliosis, and no, it will not "go away" any time soon--mine is progressive, it has been getting worse and worse for years and yes I feel it and yes it sucks! So I do understand, I've been through ALOT, trust me on that one.
So down to the numbers...
As of my last x-ray, (which at this point I do every year or so) I had a 28 degree cervical (neck), 68 degree thoracic (upper spine), and 52 degree lumbar (lower spine) curves. The weirdest thing about my curves, and the one thing that none of ANY of my doctors have really been able to figure out, is whether or not I have just one major curve (my thoracic), or if I do in fact have a DOUBLE major curve (meaning that my lumbar curve is not purely a compensatory curve to keep me balance but also has a mind of its own) Lucky me, I get to be the "rare rarity" so to speak. Promise, if you follow my posts and stories you will see just how much this really is a theme with me!
The question of my double major curve has led me down many paths in order to find the right answer. I spent about six years chasing every possible treatment. I have tried:
- Charleston bending brace
- TLSO 18 hour brace
- physical therapy
- holistic medicine (I was desperate)
- CLEAR chiropractic(for over 2 years)
- Schroth method (briefly)
- acupuncture (couldn't do it! lol)
- yoga for scoliosis (my favorite--still do it and highly reccomend it!)
For the past two years or so, however, I have tried my own method: living. I decided to give my body a break and, whether it was just lucky timing at the end of my growth spurt or actual success, my scoliosis has drastically slowed down in it's progression. I still do yoga as periodically as possible, which is not easy unless I'm in NYC, but other than that I just live. I maintain core strength at the gym, which I have found is the best way to keep as good of posture as possible and avoid that weird looking pelvic tilt I get.
While it is definitely more peaceful than spending all my time battling the curve degrees, I of course have to keep up with my x-rays just to be sure. I am scheduled for my first one in 18 months this Thursday so fingers crossed it goes well!
Sorry for the long post, I swear I'll get better at this lol
Monday, July 23, 2012
Introduction
Hey all you scolio's!
Let me just start off by saying, while I am fairly new to this whole blogging thing, I am DEFFINITELY not new to the wonderful life of living with scoliosis. I've been through hell and back, most of which you will hear allllll about in my upcoming posts. What I have found through these past 8 years that I've had scoliosis, is that there really are very few people who are real about what our lifestyle is like. Whether its a life filled with conventional treatments, surgery, homeopathic remedies, yoga, whatever, (and yes, I have tried almost all of those), scoliosis is most of the time talked about as a simple condition with a simple fix: surgery.
I am one of those very few people, however, who has denied surgery for the past 5 years. No, sadly that is not because my back is okay or better, but instead because I refused to have such a life-altering surgery if I had not tried all of my options. So this is my story, or stories rather, of my experiences with my scoliosis.
Now, I know that living with this is different for everyone, that some of you will go and have the surgery or have already had it, and I am in no way against that. I simply believe that this is something that is often forgotten by doctors, parents, or whoever it is that helping you through this. If they don't have it, haven't lived with it and all of its consequences, they will never be able to fully understand. *Enter me!* I guess that's why I wanted to start this. I have tried many different approaches to both fixing and living with my scoliosis, and I just think that sometimes, all you need to hear is someone elses experience, even if they are different from yours. I know that I certainly could have used the guidance over these years, would have loved to read peoples stories, what they had tried, and how their life was going after it all.
So hopefully I can do just that--share all my stories and make someone out there realize that this isn't something to hide from. And I might just make you feel a little more sane along the way...trust me on that one! lol
So here's to all you uniquely curvy girls out there, conquering every little thing life throws at you, and still managing to stand tall! (and I promise I'll try to come up with some better curvy jokes for you ;P )
Let me just start off by saying, while I am fairly new to this whole blogging thing, I am DEFFINITELY not new to the wonderful life of living with scoliosis. I've been through hell and back, most of which you will hear allllll about in my upcoming posts. What I have found through these past 8 years that I've had scoliosis, is that there really are very few people who are real about what our lifestyle is like. Whether its a life filled with conventional treatments, surgery, homeopathic remedies, yoga, whatever, (and yes, I have tried almost all of those), scoliosis is most of the time talked about as a simple condition with a simple fix: surgery.
I am one of those very few people, however, who has denied surgery for the past 5 years. No, sadly that is not because my back is okay or better, but instead because I refused to have such a life-altering surgery if I had not tried all of my options. So this is my story, or stories rather, of my experiences with my scoliosis.
Now, I know that living with this is different for everyone, that some of you will go and have the surgery or have already had it, and I am in no way against that. I simply believe that this is something that is often forgotten by doctors, parents, or whoever it is that helping you through this. If they don't have it, haven't lived with it and all of its consequences, they will never be able to fully understand. *Enter me!* I guess that's why I wanted to start this. I have tried many different approaches to both fixing and living with my scoliosis, and I just think that sometimes, all you need to hear is someone elses experience, even if they are different from yours. I know that I certainly could have used the guidance over these years, would have loved to read peoples stories, what they had tried, and how their life was going after it all.
So hopefully I can do just that--share all my stories and make someone out there realize that this isn't something to hide from. And I might just make you feel a little more sane along the way...trust me on that one! lol
So here's to all you uniquely curvy girls out there, conquering every little thing life throws at you, and still managing to stand tall! (and I promise I'll try to come up with some better curvy jokes for you ;P )
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